Thursday, November 26, 2009

about being blind

Just read this in the latest E.L. Doctorow book, "Homer & Langley."

"At that moment I couldn't care less. You go along with the faculties you have almost as if you are normally equipped. And then something like this happens and you realize what a defective you are."

Hit me like a thud in the chest. It so exactly describes the way I feel when I am suddenly limited by my vision loss. For the most part, given the adaptations I (and we) have made in our lifestyle, things run along pretty smoothly. Mostly, people tell me that if I hadn't told them, they never would guess that I'm blind. And I feel, what, proud? So people who can't hide their blindness should be embarrassed?

Of course 'defective' is a self-indulgent word to use. Everyone has things they cannot do and plenty of people have a lot more limitations on their lives than I do. I think it's precisely because I live life like a 'normal' person that facing my defect can be so startling.

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