Keith was complaining about how much email he gets, specifically requests for letters or reviews or to speak. He decided to give Owen a chance to answer a few for him. (Specifics have been changed--Owen's answers are verbatim.)
Keith: Owen, can I give a talk on May 25?
Owen looks up from his coloring: That's not possible.
Keith: What if they pay me 500 pounds?
Owen: Well, that's an okey-dokey then!
Keith: Can I give a talk in California right after we get home?
Owen: That's silly!
Keith: Can I go to a meeting in June in Cambridge?
Owen: That's not possible right now.
Keith: What if they pay me a dollar?
Owen: That doesn't make any sense.
Keith: What if it's important to me?
Owen: Well, that's up to you then. Why are you asking me?